Living Hopeless
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: "Daryl would go back for you," he said coldly, "if it was you trapped there." - Carl finds out about the fate of Daryl and fights with his father. Set upon the return of Rick and gang. Carl/Rick bonding and Beth/Carl romance.
1. Daryl

**A/N.**_ This starts from the return of Rick and co. and goes until I says so._

_I got a lot of requests for a full length, so we'll see, I'll give it a go._

_There are a lot of bonding-dad moments, because Carl and Rick need to bond._

_And of course there will be Beth/Carl romance and a lot of Carl angst._

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**Living Hopeless  
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It was then that they arrived, after days of waiting. Carl opened up to let the group in. The group that had started out as four but was now minus two. Carl noticed right away as his father clasped him in a hug. Hershel and Beth were busy supporting Glenn and Maggie. Michonne lurked around in the background.

Carl pulled away. This was no happy reunion. There was one person he expected to be there that wasn't. "What happened to Daryl?"

_Walkers_… but then Carl just couldn't imagine it. Daryl wasn't the type to get bit. His reflexes were too sharp or something because it just didn't seem possible.

"They took him." Carl could notice that slight tremor in his father's voice. Another one he couldn't protect. Another one that went down on his watch.

"Who? The people who took Glenn and Maggie?"

Rick nodded slowly. Carl swallowed loudly.

"So when are we going?" At the quizzical look his father shot him Carl continued, "To go get Daryl."

Rick's somber expression grew even more somber. "We're not."

Carl couldn't understand that. Daryl would go to rescue them, they had just come back from rescuing Glenn and Maggie… it couldn't have been that Daryl was less important than Glenn or Maggie. All that effort Daryl spent on looking for Sophia and now they were acting like he wasn't worth a damn. "What do you mean 'we're not'?"

Rick rubbed the back of his forearm over his sweating forehead. "It's a suicide mission, Carl. We barely got out alive this time." Daryl was on his own, as much as Rick hated to admit it.

"But I found people. They entered the prison. They could help."

Surprise was an understatement of what registered on Rick's face. "You what?" He said quietly, as if what he heard must have been a figment of his imagination, his mind playing tricks on him again.

"A group, they entered in the back way. One of them was bit. Here, come with me."

Rick finally seemed to accept it after seeing them, and Carl took a step back as he conversed with the other older guy, who said his name was Tyreese. Carl let them talk for a moment before he interjected. "We've got someone who was captured. We need you to help us get him back."

"Carl!" Carl hated it when his father got that tone of voice. He was beyond getting into trouble now after all he went through. His mother was dead so why bother pretending they had a happy little family unit like old times? Why pretend that his dad actually had any authority over him?

"What?" Carl didn't even bother to mask his annoyance. "We need help to get Daryl. Wasn't that what you said?"

"It wouldn't matter how much help we had. They have people Carl, and weapons, much more than we have. We can't go back."

"Daryl would go back for you," he said coldly, "if it was you trapped there." Carl strode away back to their cell block.

As he went he could hear his father in the behind him saying, "Sorry about him. We lost another one of our people. I suppose you know how it is."

Carl was loading up his pistol, hat crooked and breathing heavily when he got back to his cell. He knew where to go… where the walkers were. Not so many that it was dangerous but enough that he could blow off some steam.

"Hey Carl."

It was Beth, at the door to his cell, looking happier than she had for days. Didn't she get it? Daryl was gone and he wasn't coming back.

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

Beth was taken aback by his hostile tone. She continued softly. "Don't you want to come and see Glenn and Maggie? Glenn's a bit worse for wear but dad's taking care of it."

"We're not going to get Daryl back. We're just leaving him there."

Beth paused there, waiting for a couple of seconds to pass before saying, "I'm sorry."

"It's B.S. Daryl always volunteers to go after people and now we're just forgetting about him?"

Beth guessed it wasn't just Daryl fueling his anger. His mother… the father who was rarely around anymore… taking responsibility for his newborn sister. He had a lot to be angry about. She stepped forward. Carl was looking at her with that expression, exasperation mixed with defiance. She reached out a hand to his face and wiped at a smudge of dirt there. "I know."

"No you don't." He pushed her away and stormed out of the cell and then out of the cell block. Pistol loaded, not looking back. She had Maggie back. He was glad about Glenn but Carl wanted everyone back. That's what made him angry. It wasn't just Daryl. It was everyone that kept dropping. He was alone in this world. Him and Judith. Who knew the fate of anybody else?

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**Read… Enjoy… Review.**

If you liked - **review**, because they really do make the difference whether I continue or not.


	2. Merle

**A/N.**_ I was wondering why there was no Beth/Carl community on here and then realized if one was made the writers would probably kill Beth off the next episode... that's what they do.  
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_But alas, while Beth is alive and well...  
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**Living Hopeless  
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Bang, bang, bang. Shooting some rounds made him feel better. More in control. Perfect head shots. The walkers went down.

Carl breathed a sigh of relief. It didn't bring Daryl back but it helped. It was later that he snuck back in the cell block. Rick was in his cell waiting for him.

"Carl? We need to talk."

"I get it. Daryl's on his own. It's too risky to go back. You don't have to explain it any more dad."

"I feel like I do. I feel like you need to know exactly what's going on there."

Carl didn't sit down. He stood but listened carefully. The place was called Woodbury. There were survivors but Michonne told them they were led by a wicked man. And Merle was there. He was the one who beat the crap out of Glenn. Rick wasn't going to go back for Daryl because he was in the company of his brother. Rick told Carl about how Daryl asked to go look for his brother but Rick said he needed his help. For all Rick knew Daryl just took off at the end to find Merle. Maybe Daryl would stay. Maybe Daryl would come back. But that was up to him.

That changed everything. Carl felt bad for being so angry earlier. "Sorry. I didn't know about Merle."

"Now you do."

"Are the other group going to join our group?" There weren't many of them. There weren't many of their group either… not anymore.

"I don't know," his father said honestly. "Not yet."

"But Michonne's joined us." It wasn't a question. Michonne was sleeping in the cell block, she was now part of the group.

"Yes." No elaboration. Carl didn't need to know how Rick blamed Michonne for Oscar, failing to let them know about all the defenses. Bygones were bygones.

"We need to go and get formula for Judith. I was going to go in the next two days."

"I'll take care of it."

"No." Carl wasn't going to let him, his voice was hard. "I want to do it. It's time I took responsibility for Judith." If he sent anyone else out and they got taken again like Glenn and Maggie did, the guilt would eat Carl alive.

"Okay." Rick nodded, running a hand through his hair. "I'll go with you."

Carl could accept that. "Okay. We'll go tomorrow then. I was going to go with Carol but this is better. Carol shouldn't have to risk her life."

Rick gave a wry smile. "No she shouldn't."

"Okay, I'm going to go see Beth. I yelled at her earlier. And I guess I haven't seen Glenn and Maggie yet."

His dad wasn't presumptuous, but he did have a somewhat strained smile before laying back on the bed. "You go do what you've gotta do."

That he did. Beth was in with Maggie. Their arms were around each other and Carl felt bad for the intrusion. He didn't leave though. He just hovered there awkwardly. "Hi."

Beth peered at him in the darkness. "Carl?"

"Sorry… about earlier. I didn't know about Merle, Daryl's brother, being there." As if that excused it. Carl hoped it would. He needed Beth but he wasn't willing to admit it yet.

"You didn't see what Merle did ta Glenn?" Maggie spoke up, voice quivering and she rose from her spot sitting on the bed with Beth.

"His face. I saw."

"He set a walker on him… while he was strapped to a chair. Sick bastard. If that's Daryl's brother we don't want him back."

"Daryl's not like that." Carl had to defend him. They'd been together a long time and through a lot of crap, he thought he knew Daryl. Daryl cared about what happened to his brother but he wasn't a dick.

"I'm not so sure. Daryl went running off to join the other side."

They didn't know that either. Carl just stood there, faced off with Maggie, fists clenched. "He went to get you out. He didn't even know about Merle."

Maggie was weary, all that running and killing people and escaping took it out of her. She wasn't going to argue the point about Daryl. She just didn't care. "I'm going to go see how dad is doing with Glenn. I'll be back later." She gave Beth a soft look and then walked straight past Carl to leave the cell. Obviously not ready to let her annoyance with the Dixon brothers go yet.

"Sorry again." He said awkwardly. Beth patted the place beside her on the bed for him to come join her.

He did, slowly, taking off his hat and sitting there right next to her. She was pretty. Even in the dark. He did his best not to stare.

"That's okay." She reached down and took his hand, eyes straight ahead. He had to really will himself not to stare at her this time.

His breath halted a second as she rubbed her thumb along the side of his hand. "Aren't you happy? I mean, you didn't even think you'd get your father back and here he is."

"Yeah." He didn't want it to seem like he was ungrateful. He was glad his father was back. He was just feeling useless about everyone else. "I guess." He was focused on her hand though. It was just a friendly gesture wasn't it? Beth was that type when she got comfortable with people… the physical type.

"I'm really glad about Maggie being back. I hadn't given up hope but you know…"

Yes, he knew. Hope was for the non-realistic and she had to be realistic. Realistically it was unlikely they 'd return… but now they had. Maybe hope was less foolish than he originally thought. Maybe he could have the slightest bit of hope for Daryl's return.

"We're leaving tomorrow. To get some formula. I'm taking my dad."

She dropped his hand, just like that. It was plain as day that what he said affected her. "You're going?"

"I have to." His hand felt cold without her touching it. "I'll come back." He had the distinct memory of his father saying something similar to his mom every time he would leave… time and time again.

"I'll hold you to that." She gave him a small smile even when her heart was dropping.

"Okay." He got up to leave, feeling more awkward than when he came there in the first place. She tended to do that to him.

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**Read… Enjoy… Review.**

If you liked - **review**, because they really do make the difference whether I continue or not.


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